Cool Cave

As I have told many of you who have asked, living on Guam is great in part because it is chalk full of outdoor activities.  Since Guam is an island, the sea-based ones get all the play, but the land of Guam is also fantastic to explore, and one of the best manifestations of this is going caving.  A short history lesson: Guam is a volcanic island, but it is also surrounded by coral.  So somehow the volcanic rock and the coral get down with each other, and voila, you've got an island with an extensive cave network (at least that's the official history I got).

Friend Anna told me about a cave called Cool Cave.  I am not joking.  It might have another name, but in at least one article I found online and in Anna's book of caves on Guam, it is named Cool Cave.  Maybe it was named because of the cool temperature inside the cave, maybe Mr. Cool found it, or maybe Kool and his Gang used to hang out there.  (There is also an "Awesome Cave," so maybe Cool Cave is cool, but can't hold a candle to Awesome Cave.)  

Regardless of the reason, Anna and I decided to wake up early this past Saturday morning and go explore it.  She had been led there once before, so we took her old beat up Toyota inside of my old beat up Toyota and headed to the southern part of Guam.  Based on her book and my internet research, we learned that there was no real trail or trailhead, simply that the "trail" started just to the north of a sanitation transfer station on the side of the road.  Now I should point out that I have the sense of direction of a toaster, and Anna's sense of direction is not much better (it maybe equates to a quesadilla maker).  The two of us put together could not find our way out of bathroom.  But, we found what we thought was a trail, saw some orange and pink tape on a trees (which is often previous hikers marking their path), and forged ahead.  Then we reached an area too thick to pass.  We went straight, then back to the last mark, then left, then back to the last mark, then right, and decided it was best to go back to the road to try again.  We made it back to the road a few meters from where we started and, already cut up from the ubiquitous thorny trees, probed in again at a different spot.  This spot wasn't as full of brambles, and soon we found ourselves sort of on the right path.  Our first main marker was to find the edge of the cliff (pictured above...there was actually a huge orange date on the side of the cliff that someone painted in that morning...uncanny coincidence), and then turn left.  Once we found this marker, we turned left and with relative ease picked up another trail marked with tape on the trees.   Finding the actual entrance of the cave, which is small, was supposed to be the hard part (like the bars in LA that don't have any names, maybe it's called Cool Cave because you're cool if you actually know how to find it).  Remarkably, the markers led us right to the entrance, which even people with decent directional sense would have been hard-pressed to find.  The hike was supposed to take only a half an hour, and it took us probably 4 times that. No big deal.

Once in the cave, Anna, a biology grad student and somewhat experienced caver, took control.  She had warned me that there were two spots that were kind of tight squeezes.  Being slightly claustrophobic and having been scared shitless watching "The Descent", I laughed nervously to myself and figured it couldn't be that bad.  I also figured those spots weren't until the end.  Instead, they were both right at the beginning of the cave and were pretty tight.  Well, I was not about to let 2hrs of hiking through thorny bushes and a myriad of spider webs go to waste  (oh yeah, every two trees seemed to have a massive spider web strung across it (exhibit A to the right)).  So with a few deep breaths and some gentle encouragement from Anna, I held down my panic and fear of being trapped and made it through both of the tight spots.  We brought glow-sticks and orange tape along to mark our trail in the cave to find our way back, which quelled my fear of never seeing sunshine again.

Once through the tight spots, 

our reward was instantaneous Cool.  Stalactites (coming down from the ceiling) and stalagmites (coming up from the floor) never cease to wow me.   Caves like this are constantly growing, water dripping down to form and re-form the shape of the cave.  Devoid of life (though I did spot a crab crawling around inside), but still alive and growing.   And so old!  Though, as Anna and I speculated, if these rocks could talk, all they would probably say is, "yeah, it's been pretty dark in here for a while."  Definitely lived up to the hype there Cool Cave.

We could have hung out with the stalactites for hours, but after a while, it was time to go, back through the squeezes and out into the light of day.  On our way back, our goal was to add marks to the trail so it would be easy for the next pair of Magellans to find the entrance.  Somehow, we couldn't even accomplish this simple feat. We again forged confidently to where we remembered coming from, marking the trees with orange tape, then backtracked, taking the tape back off the trees, then going in a different direction.  Eventually, we found ourselves in another thicket of brambles.  I was able to poke my head out the top and saw the trail we needed not 5ft away. We just couldn't find a way through the spiky flora.  So eventually it came down to brawn over brain, and we simply had to push and pull ourselves through the thorns and onto the path that eventually led back to the road, probably another hour and a half after leaving the cave. 

Still, though it may sound like justification, not actually having a trail to follow added to the adventure rather than detracted from it.  Anyone can just walk down a path.  Big wup.  Try following a non-existent trail before you even get to your destination and then talk to me.  

Fun Guam fact of the day: Guam is right next to the Marianas Trench, the lowest point in the Earth's crust, and the place where the humans foolishly dropped Megatron at the end of Transformers.

-More to come-

Christmas on the island

Hi all,

It's been a bit since I've last posted.  Part of that is getting into the groove of island life, some of it is waiting for stories to finalize, and some of it is not posting stories that are awesome but not blog appropriate.

Anyway, while many of you are in wintery, snowy environments, it's still an average of 84 degrees here on Guam.  Listening to Trans-Siberian Orchestra made me miss ice skating, hot chocolate, and bundling up a little, but on the whole, I recognize I should not be complaining about about celebrating the holidays in shorts and sandals.

I celebrated Christmas like this:



On the Sunday before Christmas, some of our friends rented a catamaran (don't call it a boat, it gets fussy about that) for an afternoon.  For 30 bones apiece, 40 of their friends could cruise around the Philippines Sea for 4 hrs, eating and drinking their fill of whatever they brought aboard.  At some point, the boat stops for people to snorkel, swim, or do Air Jordan poses jumping off the bow while a friend below takes pictures on a new waterproof camera from below (thanks Dad, Mom, and TJ for the gift).

Christmas Eve was a laid back affair of watching The Big Lebowski, drinking white russians, and trying to contain myself from quoting the whole movie as it was playing.  On Christmas day, we had tentatively invited people over to our house, giving the very wide open time frame of 10 in the morning to sometime in the evening.  One guy actually did show up at 10am when only one of us was up and about.  Smartly, he retreated for the time and made his official entrance later in the afternoon.  After family skype sessions were completed, we cooked a 26lb ham, which, for anyone who knows me and my love of ham, knows that that's all I ever really want for Christmas.

Eventually, we gathered a crew of roommates, past and present, and friends (pictured above) for a fantastic afternoon/evening of good eating, watching an amazingly inappropriate Christmas movie in "Ted," and playing an impromptu game of circle of kings before calling it a night.  For anyone curious, my two actual roommates are James, the massive guy (coming in at a cool 6'9") with the massive W on his chest, and Patty, the girl in the green directly to James' right.  Also notice in this picture of our living room the picture frame hung on the wall with no actual pictures in it (it is not a picture of a brick wall).  We left it there to be ironic.

New Years is just around the corner, although closer for me than any of you.  So, here's wishing all of you a happy 20-13 from the future!

Fun Guam fact of the day: "Hafa adai" (pronounced hafa day) means 'hello' in Guam's native language--Chamorro. It is THE ubiquitous phrase heard everywhere on the island, from the airport, to people on the telephone, to official Government correspondence, to the radio DJ checking in with his traffic guy. However, the low point of this phrase has got to be in one of the local commercials before movies, where a bunch of people ask each other (and the audience) in a really loud volume, "Hafa Adai Guam. How much do you weigh?"to promote weight loss.  The irony of this commercial is that most of the people asking are overweight themselves.  Sadly, this irony does not quell the awfulness of this commercial, which easily reaches #1 on the annoying top 40 list.

-More to come-

Spear fishing

Hey all, a quick post about spear fishing.

There are loads of outdoor activities to get into in Guam, but one I was not expecting was spear fishing.  Now, when I first heard about it, I couldn't wait to go.  My concept of spear fishing was that a bunch of people go out on a boat, bring some beer along, and stand on the deck and shoot fish with some sort of awesome spear gun (since doing with a 9mm would just not be sporting).  Rarely has my mental picture been so far askew from reality.

In reality, spear fishing is a much more intimate sport.  It pits man versus fish, hunter versus hunted, me who can barely hold his breath for 15 seconds versus fish who breathe water like they can't get enough of it.  Basically, it's free diving, or diving under water with just snorkeling gear, and hunting fish with a gun that shoots a spear attached to some tubing and rope.  You can go out on a boat, or, you can skip the boat and just walk out on the reef.  This past saturday, I went out with my buddy Alex and another dude Jordan.  Both had gone spear fishing many times previously, so I knew right away that I was going to be the least feared by the fish.  No matter, as alex said, at worst, spear fishing is just snorkeling with a spear gun.

Spear fishing is best done in calm water so you're not getting thrown around on the surface.  The early morning ocean was pure glass, so after a quick cup of coffee, the three of us drove down to the local spot, put on our booties, fins, masks, snorkels, rash guards, and toted our spear guns.  The guns we used had a trigger that, when pulled, released a 3ft long metal spear attached to a rope.  When you shot it, you retrieved the spear, and reloaded it back into the tube, locking it in the trigger position by pulling two-three rubber tubes the length of the gun and hooking them so their taut.  To actually spear a fish, you dive down, get to the fish's depth, and get close enough to where your spear can hit them.  Apparently, you don't look them in the eye, because they can tell you have murder in your eyes.  Also, they are completely aware that a human with a big metal spear has entered their territory, and often flee as soon as you dive down.  This means that the key is to be able to dive down to depth, and then stay there patiently until the fish comes back out.  This was the biggest hold up for me.  As soon as I got to depth, I felt that annoying and pressing need to breathe buckets of oxygen, so I rushed back up to the surface, threw off my snorkel and mask, and indulged in all the atmosphere I could take in.  I tried to focus my chi, slow my heart down, zen it up, and make a better go of it, but even after that, it seemed like I could barely make it 30 seconds.  Something to work on I suppose.

So needless to say, I didn't even come close to spearing anything.  I shot the gun once, just to see what happened, and then I couldn't reload it properly.  To be fair, there weren't a lot of fish out and about, and Alex, a much more seasoned hunter, also came away empty handed.  Jordan, the most experienced of the group, didn't catch anything by spear, but did catch an octopus by hand and killed it by biting into its brain (this is what kids from Hawaii learn I guess).  It was a pretty sweet catch, and quite randomly, a Japanese dude in the beach parking lot wanted to buy it.  So, with the $10 from the octopus, we picked up a six pack.  Turns out that spear fishing does involve beer drinking after all.

Fun Guam fact of the day: there are almost no birds on Guam. There is only one native species of bird left.  All the others were killed off by brown tree snakes.

-More to come-

Saipan: Guam's Canada

Hi all,

Continuing the theme of blogging about islands other than the one I live on, a quick post about the island of Saipan, the capital of the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands (CNMI).  CNMI is a commonwealth of America.  Yes, we have commonwealths.  It was a US protectorate after WWII, and in the 1970s, the local government decided to form a covenant (not surprisingly called "The Covenant") with the US.  Saipan was great for the US in that for a long time, textile factories could operate there, not pay the locals minimum wage, but still claim the product was "Made in the USA."

These days, Saipan is in a little decline and has taken on a little brother complex to Guam.  This relationship between one place that is comparatively more built up and modern, and another place in close proximity that is not as built up, but lays claim to the status as more authentic, quaint, and less concrete, is not unique to Saipan and Guam.  New Zealand has it with Australia.  And of course, Canada has it with America.  I learned about this little rivalry when I was first interested in applying to work in Saipan.  During my interview with the attorney general himself (see "criminal charges" referenced below),  he went into a 5 minute, unprompted tirade about the differences between Guam and Saipan.  This is, mind you, in the middle of a job interview.  I felt weird telling him I had even applied to positions in Guam.

Much like NZ/Australia and the Canada/US dynamic, the Saipan/Guam rivalry is so poignant because of how similar the two places really are.  Saipan is very much like Guam, except that it's smaller, fewer people, and fewer street lights.  But basically, they're two tropical islands 120miles apart. Any differences are ones of degree.

Anyway, because the people I do know on Saipan are fantastic people that were extremely generous with their time and connections in trying to get me to move there, I figured I should pay them a visit.  They hosted an ultimate frisbee tournament last weekend with free flowing slushy sangria and Busch Lite all day, so it was not exactly a tough sell.

The tournament was a great one day event.  Besides the aforementioned bottomless coolers of brew, the fields had massive puddles perfect for wantonly throwing your body around.  Our team lost on the last point in the finals, but I did win the MVP, likely due to the fact that I was the muddiest person there.

The next day it rained a lot, so it was a recovery day of college football and all day brunch.  It also gave me the chance to see what my life would have been like had different things happened.  It seems rare that once you pick one path in your life, you have the opportunity to peer through the trees and see the other path that you might have taken.  See, I was very close to moving to Saipan.  Everything was going well until the attorney general (referenced above), had to go resign and get himself indicted. Your potential future boss committing some criminal activity has got to be the oddest (and funniest) way not to get a job.  So this short weekend trip gave me a sneak peek at my Saipan life that never was--who my friends would have been, what I would have done for fun, where I would have lived, etc.  After being so warmly received by the Saipan crew, I'll be sure to visit my Saipan life again very soon.

Fun Saipan fact of the day: Saipan has no waterfalls.  One point to Guam in that category.

-More to come-

Pre-post: Sri Lanka

Hey all,

Welcome to the 5th installment of the mathus-____ series.  It's been Africanus, Europus, Kuwaitus, and Japanus.  Now, the 5th made-up word, Islandus.  I have just moved to Guam, so this blog will be all about the island life and the adventures that follow.  For now, let's start with a pre-post.

On my way to Guam, I made a not-so-along the way stop to Sri Lanka, the tear-drop country just south of India.  A random opportunity to visit a random country was too good to pass up.

Travel buddy Zoey and I didn't have a lot of time, so we stuck to the southwest coast, which was the closest destination to the capital of Colombo (thanks to computer game "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego" for forever engraining that into my mind).  Besides being home to some cool archeological sites, Sri Lanka specializes in what most islands specialize in: the ocean.  

And, keeping things simple, because it's surrounded by water, Sri Lankans do a lot of fishing.  But the way they fish is something I've never seen before.  The locals have built long, permanent stilts stuck into the ocean floor, with a cross stick where the fisherman stands.  Finally, there's a net on the top of the stilt where the fishermen place their catch.   A low-cost way for a fisherman to have access to deeper ocean.  Here's a short video if I haven't explained myself well.

Finally, no tropical island story is complete without some terrifying fauna.  I was often up early, fighting jet lag, so one morning I decided to head out on a little run.  The heat of the day hadn't set in, and my headphones provided a nice soundtrack to the townsfolk going about their morning routine.   It was all islandy peaceful until I decided to take a short cut trail on my way back and almost ran smack dab into one of these guys right next to the path:

Holy Effing Crapola Batman!  Seeing this big guy, called a Monitor Lizard--a cousin of the komodo dragon--mere inches away from my feet rocked me right out of my morning serenity.  First I froze, hoping with all of my Jurassic Park knowledge that little Godzilla here is attracted by movement.   Then, weighing my options, I decided to back out the way I came rather than move forward (thinking this guy's front is more dangerous than his back).  Thankfully, as I slowly backed away, all I got was a lazy and annoyed swat of the tail.  However, it begs mentioning that, according to our hotel manager, its tail, which was as long as its body, is so razor-sharp that it can cut a man's leg off.  Hmmm.  I fought the part of me that wanted to come back with my camera, so I guess we'll never know.

The trip ended with us crashing a birthday party that happened to be going on at our hotel on our last night.  Zoey chased the little kids around and we danced with the partygoers to Shakira.  Just your standard island night on Sri Lanka.

Fun Sri Lankan fact of the day: The Lipton Tea Company got its start in Sri Lanka, and there are still major tea plantations in the middle of Sri Lanka.

-More to come-